The Biggest Secret To Success in Love


The Biggest Secret To Success in Love

Alright folks…I’m about to share with you the biggest, most profound way to be absolutely successful in love!!!!

Because when I learned this one, it absolutely changed the way that I looked at, experienced and showed up in love.

It’s the power of being a great apologizer and a great forgiver.  Now by no means am I saying this is something I excel at in every given moment in my relationship. But it created an incredible shift for me once I realized how valuable these two traits were.

Just sit back and imagine how much different your love relationship could and would be if you solely focused on being the best apologizer and best forgiver you could be?  Crazy different, huh?

I think what floored me so much about this revelation was just how simple it seemed, how difficult it was to maintain and the difference it actually made.

Let’s tease them apart for a second.

First, being a great apologizer and a great forgiver seems like two easy steps, right?  I think (I know) that we’re constantly looking for the answer to how to make love work.  I see it in my own life. I see it in the work that I do in couple’s therapy.  And yet as much as we search, we struggle in finding the answer.

And the amazing thing about being a great apologizer and a great forgiver, is that it totally takes the pressure off of others.  When we’re focused on being the best at apologizing and forgiving, amazingly enough, we stop seeing the shortfalls or error our mate is making.  Like I said, it truly transforms how we look at love. 

And when we’re working to be the best apologizer and forgiver we can be, we start to experience love differently.  We all know that we find what we seek, so when we’re looking to ourselves to offer more grace, we start to experience it from our partner more readily.  It’s almost like we begin to shift the tide in our interactions, just by being quick to apologize and even quicker to forgive.

And lastly, this revelation totally shifted the way I showed up in love.  I stopped having time or the ability to see my husband’s shortcomings or errors because I was so focused on how I was presenting myself.  Because plain and simple, it’s really hard to demand an apology from someone else when you realize you’re withholding one too.

So how can you apply this to your own relationship?  What are the ways that you become the best apologizer and forgiver in love?  How can this start to positively influence your mate to do the same.

Because how amazingly different would our relationship be if we were all the best apologizers and forgivers in love?

In honor of this last day of the year…I challenge you to forgive what’s still lingering around and honestly survey the landscape of your relationship to see how you need to apologize and make amends.  Don’t go into 2016 holding onto extra anger, resentment or regret.  Instead head into Jan 1 with a heart full of grace and a quickness to make an injury right.

If this feels to big too accomplish on your own, please reach out for support.  I’m here as a resource and a guide in the healing process.  Please reach out and let me know how I can help you make 2016 amazing!!! 

As always, I want to know what your journey in love and connection is like.   It’s why I do this work.  Send me an email, or give me a call, 916.955.3200.