Connected Under Fire

My office building caught fire early Saturday morning.  Burned the whole middle staircase up and created a chimney effect on my floor which caused smoke damage to everything in my office. Thankfully the building was empty and no one was hurt. 

The shock of it all is still settling in.  Especially when I write about it today, almost a week later.

I was talking to my husband about how I wanted to write about the fire and how it just feels so connected to relationships.  My loving but non-therapist husband said to me “you know, not everything is connected to relationships”.

 But the truth is, it is always about relationships! 

This week was a never ending reminder of exactly how important relationships are.  I work with couples in my Sacramento office every week and the reminder of the importance of relationships is one I’ll take any time I can get it.

You see, within an hour of finding out about the fire, one of my best friends and fellow therapists had already called her landlord to get me an office to work out of starting just two days later.  She was on the scene before my husband was able to get to our kids off at a friend’s house and make his way over to me.  My dear friend was by my side to calm my nerves and reassure me that it was going to be alright.  She hugged me, she let me laugh and even welcomed the F bombs that came out as we talked.

It’s about relationships.

My husband, who arrived shortly after, let me know that I was safe and that it was alright to be sad or scared. He didn’t minimize my feelings or tell me how to feel, he just let me talk. 

It’s about relationships.

Another therapist friend arrived soon after; we already had plans to meet at my office that morning and I forgot to call him to tell him about the fire.  The poor guy arrived to quite the scene with fire crew still on site and the details of the event still unfolding.  He offered unconditional support and was so patient as I kept repeating myself….“I’m so glad no one was there, I’m just so grateful”. 

It’s about relationships.

And in the days following, I received emails, calls and texts from not only friends and family but the folks that I work with…my clients.  The couples and individuals that I’m honored to work with each week that are dedicated to repairing and reconnecting their own relationships.

Because you see, it’s always about relationships.

Yes, I’m sad.  Yes, I’m a bit scared about the future.  But the truth is I’m ok.  And I’m ok because I have these relationships.

I’m beyond blessed that I have people around me that want to help.  I’m grateful that I don’t have to figure out the future alone and I’m lucky to have friends that know sometimes the best answer is a glass of wine and a good laugh.

And most of all I’m honored that I’ve been reminded again that it really is all about relationships.  We don’t get through tough times by holing up or pushing people away.  We don’t heal in isolation.

We thrive when we’re connected.  We grow when we’re supported. We blossom when we’re loved.

And right now, I feel really grateful for my relationships.

So, if you’re struggling in your own relationship or if you feel alone when really what you need is support, don’t be afraid to ask for help.  The value of having relationships to heal us outweighs the fear that comes with diving into change. 

And as always, I want to hear from you!  I want to know what your journey through connection and love is like and most of all, I want to build a relationship with you.

Send me an email,, give me a call, 916.955.3200 or comment below. 

I can’t wait to hear from you.