Yellow Light…Speed Up or Slow Down?
There’s an ongoing debate in my marriage about whether you speed up or slow down when you see a yellow light. And when I say ongoing…I mean ongoing. I’m more of a put some lead into it kinda gal and my husband is the slam on the brakes inches before the crosswalk sorta guy.
And after many, many years of marriage it’s a debate I don’t see being resolved any time soon. So last weekend when this “debate” came up again, aka, my seat belt locked up on me as my husband brought the car to a screeching halt, I realized that this yellow light is pretty similar to what I see every day in my Sacramento therapy office.
Because in the great “yellow light” debate, I really think I’m right. And guess what, my husband thinks he’s really right! But the truth is, it’s really up to interpretation…as are most things in relationships.
You see, in relationships our truth comes from how we see things. Not from how they really happened. And the worst thing that can happen is when we get so entrenched in our truth that we can’t even...possibly…not even for a brief moment see or understand our mates. And when we do this, we all lose.
Holding onto our own truth as the only way to see something, doesn’t make us right. It makes us alone. It also makes us really confused. Because entrenching ourselves in our own truth and failing to see and understand our mates doesn’t give us any information. We’re left with more questions. Wondering why they don’t “get” it? Why they don’t “agree” with us? And worst yet, why they keep disagreeing with us over our truth.
My hope for you as you read this is that you’re able to identify your “yellow light”. The stuck place in your relationship where you have become so entrenched in how you see things, that you’re failing to see how your mates sees it.
My intention as you read this is that you’re able to slow down and get curious. Look past your own truth and use that as an opportunity to explore your mate’s truth.
And most importantly, I want to hear from you! If you’re struggling with moving past your “yellow light” debate, I’m here to help. I want to know what your journey through connection and love is like and most of all I want you to understand each other’s truth.
Send me an email, firstname.lastname@example.org, give me a call, 916.955.3200 or comment below.
I can’t wait to hear from you.