Drought Proof Your Relationship

Drought Proof Your Relationship

We are in the middle of a major backyard renovation and I’ve become a frequent flyer at Green Acres looking for inspiration and vegetation.  The majority of the plants and trees I’m looking at are marked as “drought tolerant” and it’s definitely something I’m being mindful as we plant the landscape. 

I want to put the time and money into planting things that will look pretty but also stand the test of time. And as this drought continues and we look hopefully towards an El Nino winter, I’m struck by how often we can also experience droughts in our relationships.  Times where we’re disconnected, working in opposite directions or simply missing each other’s cues.   

Droughts in our relationship can be really lonely and disheartening and it’s pretty normal to wonder if we can drought proof our relationships. 

Are there things we can do to prevent our love connection from going dry?

Simply put, yes we can. But it takes some careful planning. 

Just as I’m planning my backyard landscape to account for the drought, so we have to plan in our own relationships to avoid disconnection. 

Now in a perfect world, we would always have time for connection and our relationship would never get de-prioritized.  But heads up…..this isn’t a perfect world and lack of planning never serves us well in love.

So how do we drought proof our relationship?

1.     You have to make a plan for the dry times.  Don’t assume it’s never going to happen to you, instead plan for when it happens to you.  No one is immune to a drought in love, but not everyone recovers from it.  Work on communication now so you can better communicate when disconnection occurs.  Don’t put off talking about hard things now because chances are they will just grow.

2.   Plan when times are lush too.  You need to work on your connection in love, even when it’s going well.  Don’t let the high of spending time together, laughing and being silly, stop you from planning it again and again.  When things are going good, don’t just sit back and get complacent…keep doing more of it.

3.   Consult an expert.  Just like I’m hanging out at Green Acres every weekend and pinning all sorts of landscaping advice on Pinterest, we need to get support around areas we’re struggling.  In order to drought proof my yard, I need to know what the heck that means and how exactly to do it.  The same is true in love.  If you’re experiencing a drought in love, don’t keep trying things that aren’t working.  Reach out for support and get the help you need to make your relationship flourish, even in the driest of times.

Remember droughts are common in love, but they can also be avoided by planning carefully and prioritizing the right things.  If your relationship is weathering a larger drought then our Golden State, reach out for support.   I may not be a landscaping expert, but I promise I’ve got the relationship expertise down.

As always, I want to know what your journey in love and connection is like.   That’s why I do this work.  Send me an email, nfo@lifeunscriptedcounseling.com or give me a call, 916.955.3200.