Peak to Peak Principle

Peak to Peak Principle

I learned about this amazing concept the other day called the Peak to Peak Principle. I’d insert a graphic if I was that tech savvy, but instead, I want you to imagine two peaks placed next to each other with a valley in between. 


Picture yourself standing on one peak and being able to easily see the other peak in the distance. Now begin making your way from one peak to the other.  As you dip into the valley, you begin to lose sight of the peak you’re heading towards.  As you descend, the fog thickens, the trees become taller and denser. You try your best, but despite all you’re looking up, you can hardly see the peak you’re walking to any longer.  You begin to feel defeated and slow your pace, wondering if you’re even going the right direction.  You begin to doubt yourself and even wander off course.  Eventually you decide to just sit and wait for the rescue party, because it’s not worth trying on your own.  You’ve completely lost perspective of where you needed to be headed.

Now take a breath. You’re ok, not lost in the woods. But now you also have a really good experience of this principle.

Because essentially, the Peak to Peak Principle is making sure that we only make crucial decisions in our lives when we’re standing on the peak. If we make decisions as we descend into the valley, we end making a decision based on a really bad perspective.

Pretty cool principle, huh?

And I love how this translates to the work I do.  I so often see couples coming to therapy when things are SO bad.  You’ve neglected working on the relationship for such a long time that you’re disconnected, lonely and angry.  You’ve experienced rejection, betrayal and injury from each other.  And you’re coming into couple’s therapy with the expectation that you’ll be able to see whether or not it’s worth staying in the relationship.

But what if we applied the Peak to Peak Principle here?

How different would the nature of the work be if you made the goal to get back to the top of the peak before making any long term decisions on your relationship?

What would it be like to heal, get out of the valley and get a better perspective of what you’re actually fighting for? 

I honestly think this could revolutionize therapy.  It would make the work so much more about healing than deciding.  It would allow you time to really get back to a connected and loving place before you made a permanent decision.

The truth is, I’m still working out some details on how this will all look on a weekly basis in the office because it’s such concentrated, intensive work.

But the good news is, I’m super excited to be enrolling couples in my next weekend intensive retreat.  The last few couples that went through it were able to apply the Peak to Peak Principle in their love relationship and it was relationship changing.  Being able to work together in such an intensive and intimate way over the course of 3 days yielded the most amazing results.  Far beyond what I could have ever hoped for.

If this sounds like something that your relationship oh so needs, please reach out to talk.  I’d love to share the details on this great opportunity!  It’s truly life changing.

In the meantime, if you’re still in the valley and struggling to get back to the peak for better perspective, please reach out.  I am so here to help.  Send me an email, or give me a call, 916.955.3200.