Relationship Tip

Are you crying "wolf" in your relationships?

Hey there…quick question for you…do you have anyone in your life that seems to really struggle with being happy about anything? They sort of walk around with a perspective that EVERYTHING is a huge deal and that every detail about everything matters all of the time? The person that is always ready for a debate/confrontation/excuse to prove themselves right?

I assume we all know a person like that….and if we’re being honest, we’ve have probably been that person a time or two.

Well the truth is, when you’re showing up really argumentative in your relationship or expressing to your partner that everything needs to be a certain way (aka hypercritical mode), your voice tends to get lost in the shear enormity of what you’re expressing.

I get that some things are really really important and I’m completely with you on that.  I also believe that you can NOT die on every hill in your relationship.

If everything matters all of the time, it is highly likely that your overall needs are going to ignored. It’s sort of like the “boy that cried wolf”.  If you choose to die on every hill your partner will struggle to know what REALLY matters and what is just a preference.

I encourage you to take this week’s relationship tip to heart and….

Ask yourself, “Is this the hill I want to die on?”

If you find that you’re stating your needs over and over again and partner just isn’t “getting it” then I encourage you to step back and evaluate if perhaps you’re attempting to die on too many hills and your needs are getting missed.

This is a tough tip and yet an essential one for you to sit with and observe a bit.  Save this meme so you can slow down long enough to observe if and how this may be showing up in your relationship.

Reach out if you have questions or if I can support in anyway, I’m happy to help.

Take care of yourself and each other.

Relationship tip #5: If you have something nice to say…SAY IT!

We are officially in the throws of summer and if I’m being completely honest…I really like these hot days. I grew up in the beautiful Monterey area which means gorgeous views AND never a summer day over 68 degrees.  So being out in the sun and taking a cooling off dive into the pool is perfectly fine for me.

These long days of summer are also when the craziness of summer travel, the kids being out of school and trying to run a business all seem to catch up with me in a less than celebratory, pretty overwhelming sort of way.

And when I find myself in that sort of headspace, I need to do a quick check in on my mindset. Meaning, I have to pause and ask myself “Am I looking at things through a glass half empty and running on fumes OR am I taking small moments to adjust expectations and breathe?”

One of my biggest “slowing” down strategies is gratitude. As simple as it may seem, the act of writing down or verbally sharing gratitude creates Ah-MAZING shifts in your attitude.  It’s a simple act that yields big rewards AND it’s harder to apply then you think.

A mindset of gratitude lends perfectly to this week’s relationship tip….

If you have something nice to say…SAY IT!

If you’re finding yourself overwhelmed, stretched thin and stressed out, chances are you’re not noticing or expressing gratitude for the small things in your life. I know this to be true in my own life and I’m assuming it’s similar for you.

If you have something nice to say to your mate, your children, your friends, I want you to say it. Pick up the phone, send a quick text or jot it down in your journal.  Kindness is meant to be shared, not stuffed inside.

Throw kindness around like confetti my friend and see what starts to take shape around you.

Save this meme as a reminder to “just say it” this week in love.