For the record, infidelity is really hard to talk about. It makes people uncomfortable and pretty judgmental. It seems like whenever someone hears about a couple struggling to heal from an affair, they make sweeping judgments about affairs on how they would “never tolerate” that in their relationship or they would leave “in an instant” if their partner cheated on them. But the truth is, it’s not that simple. And hearing people’s input of what they “would” do can do more harm than good.